On the true value of a husband:
When I stepped into the shower this morning, I glanced up to discover a nasty spider creeping across the ceiling above me. A sort of shimmering bronze critter that looked as though it could leap should it so desire.
A year ago, I would have calmly dealt with the creature myself. This time I merely shrieked and let my husband come in and squelch it.
On health food:
There’s a hole-in-the-wall with windows and a dirty awning at the end of our street where less-than-fine dining establishments come and go. The latest calls itself Tony’s, and appears to sell a random assortment of fairground food from an actual building instead of trailers.
The grease is a palpable cloud as you walk by. The menu is garishly emblazoned across both windows and awnings:
Loaded spiral fries
Fried pickles (and Twinkies. and Oreos)
Hand-dipped onion rings
Chili cheese dogs
And at the very bottom, the piece de resistance:
I’ll have mine fried, thanks.